Nishaad Balachandran
Honors Crossroads Service Project
December 9th, 2010
A Wonderful Ride
Life is a journey. One that constitutes various detours, dead ends, false trails, milestones, signs and most of all, experiences. No two individuals have the exact same path in their journeys regardless of the time they spend together. Even in the time they spend together, the lessons they derive from their experiences differ as each human being has their own way of perceiving events in their life. So what exactly constitutes the manner in which we perceive our world? How exactly do we give birth to these individual perceptions of our world?
Life is also the best teacher in our world. As we move through various phases in our life, we experience different emotions, we change our opinions, we meet different people and we discover ideas and thoughts within ourselves that were previously incomprehensible and unimaginable. So what exactly does life teach us? How does it teach us these things? Is it necessary to have a certain experience to learn a valuable lesson?
These were the thoughts that ran through my mind on a regular basis as I stepped into college life. Perhaps, entering a new part of my life and meeting people from around the world had spurred these thoughts. Perhaps, the pressure of carving my own identity in this world had pushed me to delve deeper into myself. Or perhaps, it was just deliriousness of the insomnia brought about via procrastination that every college student suffers from, that spurred these abstract thoughts.
However, the service project required for my honors crossroads class provided me with the perfect opportunity to explore these ponderings. Determined to find rational (or even irrational) answers to my questions, I decided to interview individuals from various walks of life and of different ages. In order to satiate my desire to understand these thoughts, I quickly came up with five questions that I thought would address my concerns and leave enough room for broader or narrower streams of ideas. Plus, interviewing relatives, family, kids, elders and friends would provide me with a chance to either establish or strengthen the bond we share. Excited to hear ideas that differed from my own, I began the process.
I had expected to grow and learn from these interviews but I had not expected to do so at the very outset. The very first words that came out of the interviewees’ were that these questions had made them think about their lives and actions and some even described the questions as “tough”. I must admit I was mildly surprised but then I remembered a lot of these individuals led busy lives and did not have the same luxuries of free time that I possessed on a daily basis. It amazed me as to how often we get caught up in our lives and forget to think about the broader scheme of things. I realized this to be true of myself as well. Rarely would have these thoughts occurred to me during finals week or mid terms week. I began to realize that during those weeks I lost total appreciation for the present and even failed to recognize the beauty of the world around me. The desire for “success” on those important tests caused me to spend all my time pouring through books and looking over complex concepts. I made a mental note to follow one of the principles in Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat’s book, Spiritual Literacy, “Pay attention. Stay awake and totally alert. See with receptive eyes and discover a world of ceaseless wonders”.
Memories. We all have them. Why do some memories, some instances of time stick with us more than others? What makes them special? These questions were the basis for the first question I posed to the individuals I interviewed. I wished to know which memories they treasured from their lives. I was curious to understand how and what different people were affected and touched by. Interestingly, almost all of the interviewees shared memories that touched the same themes. Amongst the adults, memories of meeting their spouses for the first time, birth of their children and death of loved ones seemed to find a spot in their hearts and minds. Amongst the younger interviewees, memories of achieving certain goals, birth of siblings, moves to different cities and countries and memories of graduating high school carved a niche in their hearts. Reflecting upon these answers, I learned that the memories that we cherish in our lives are often those events that touched our hearts and stimulated our senses. It made perfect sense. After all, meeting and falling in love with a special person often involves the subconscious gifting of a part or the whole of our heart to their possession and care. On the same note, experiencing the loss of a loved one, rips away a part of our heart and therefore leaves a lasting impression on us. Therefore, if the memories that stick with us the most are those that touch our hearts, why not surround ourselves with people and vocations that listen to the passions of our hearts? Wouldn’t that make life more memorable? I certainly think so. I will strive to make as many precious memories as I can during my life by following the beats of my heart.
Success. What exactly is success? Financial security? Achieving our goals and dreams? Having a loving and supportive family? These questions formed the crux of my second question to the interviewees. Everyone speaks of being successful in life and I had my perception of success but did it differ from others? Surprisingly, all of the interviewees had the same, base definition of success. Everyone defined success as finding ways to be happy whether it be surrounding oneself with loved ones, having financial security, having a dream profession or all of the above. Apart from individualistic satisfaction, there was a general consensus that affecting society and loved ones in a positive manner was an equally important aspect of success. Listening to all these questions, I smiled internally at how all of these thoughts, words and ideas rang a bell. I wasn’t insane after all. My definition of success did not differ that much from those that were being presented to me in these interviews. I remain unsure of the role of money in my perception of success. Sure, I wish to have enough so as to sustain my basic needs but I would not want the desire for money to rule my life. Peter Maurin put it perfectly when he said, “Ideals and not deals that is what makes man human” (What Makes Man Human) I believe in living my life by chasing my dreams and following my ideals. In my opinion, if an individual does not possess dreams or passion, they essentially stop living. Therefore, success to me comes in various different forms and packages. Leaving an impact on the world is success. Being humane and compassionate in the face of adversity is success. Being in love is success. Following your dreams regardless of the societal conventions is success. Standing back up after every fall is success.
Forgiveness. Are all actions forgivable? Is it possible for an individual to redeem themselves despite pass transgressions? How do we determine right from wrong? Do we have that capacity for the seemingly infinite compassion that Mahatma Gandhi possessed? Was he erroneous in thinking and saying that all humans could follow his path? Once again, the general consensus was that all individuals had the ability or capacity for redemption. However, unlike the question dealing with success, there were degrees of acceptance, compassion and forgiveness in the responses I received. Most individuals believed that everyone deserves a second chance in life and should deservedly have that chance. Some interviewees were skeptical or hesitant about forgiving individuals that crossed a certain line in terms of morality. A few interviewees looked forward to the bright future and preferred to forgive the mistake regardless of the level of transgression and give the individual the chances they need to reform. All the interviewees agreed on the fact that the individual would have to have the will power and desire to change as well and not be concerned with the views society held of them. Once again, the answers made me think about my own beliefs especially when it comes to forgiveness. I came to the conclusion that my thoughts differed in some ways from those expressed by the interviewees. I believe that an individual always has a chance for redemption especially if they have the willingness to change. The important part is for them to try and rise from the ashes of despair, the depths of trouble and dedicate themselves to finding the right path. In my opinion, it is impossible for us, as a society or as human beings, to sit on the outside and judge the individual based on their actions and transgressions and come up with a flawless judgment of their character. Mistakes happen. They are a part of life. Just as teachers encourage students to learn from their mistakes on tests, whether those mistakes are repeated or new, we should have the capacity to forgive an individual for his transgressions, repeated or not. After all, each chance at a new life, gives him or her, an opportunity to learn from their mistakes. Likewise, Charles Dickens’ novel, A Tale of Two Cities further embodies the idea of perpetual opportunity for redemption in an individual. Although, Sydney Carton led a life of misery and apathy through most part of the novel, the surpreme selflessness of his final act proved to me that human beings have the potential to better their lives regardless of the hopelessness of the situation To be more specific, in addition to the importance of compassion and empathy, Carton's final deed spoke volumes to me about the human capacity for change. As far as society’s view of the individual is concerned, Dr. Chmiel put it perfectly when he said, “We don’t have the power to change society’s mind”. Therefore, redemption depends solely on the individual being given chances and the possibility of his personal growth due to those numerous chances. Ultimately, it is of paramount importance that we move on from our past but only after learning from our mistakes and correcting our faults by making the necessary changes in our present lives.
Before starting the interviewing process, I had answered these questions myself and the big question that connected all of these questions together lay in the definition of a human being. What exactly defines us? Every interviewee mentioned that the actions of an individual defined him. To be more precise, everyone agreed that the effects of the individual’s actions on society and their own personal growth, define a human being. These actions ranged from the display of compassion in daily life to working for the betterment of society. I found myself agreeing with all of these answers and I also believe that an essential component of being human lies in rising up every time we fall and still having the courage to walk the path of life as we wish to. After all, everyone has dreams and ambitions and it is up to us to decide when we stop chasing them. For some, they become the constant motivation and search in life. For others, they wither away, only to return, blossoming in garden of their minds.
In conclusion, the whole process of interviewing different people gave me ample opportunity to reflect upon my ideals and thoughts. Apart from having a variety of answers to my questions, I also picked up a few valuable lessons along the way. I discovered the importance of listening or as Ralph Nader would put it, I had discovered “the tradition of listening”. I learned that people have a lot to say and if we contain our voices for a while, we can learn a lot from others. The interviews also taught me to look beyond my initial impressions of individuals as I received answers of unexpected depth and insight from people I would never have imagined possible. In addition to these lessons, I also found immense pleasure in carrying out these interviews in a face to face manner. In our increasingly technological world, texting, email and other technological advancements in communication have caused us to lose out on the connecting factor of and we are drifting towards becoming individual pockets of isolation within a loosely joined society. Lastly, I had set out trying to understand the journey of life and I believe the answers I received from the interviews and my own thoughts are beautifully summarized by this quote from one of my favorite Indian movies, “Life is short but if you live it with all your heart, it is more than enough. So go on and break the rules, forgive quickly, love truly and never regret anything that made you smile”
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Please leave your comments, if any below
Honors Crossroads Service Project
December 9th, 2010
A Wonderful Ride
Life is a journey. One that constitutes various detours, dead ends, false trails, milestones, signs and most of all, experiences. No two individuals have the exact same path in their journeys regardless of the time they spend together. Even in the time they spend together, the lessons they derive from their experiences differ as each human being has their own way of perceiving events in their life. So what exactly constitutes the manner in which we perceive our world? How exactly do we give birth to these individual perceptions of our world?
Life is also the best teacher in our world. As we move through various phases in our life, we experience different emotions, we change our opinions, we meet different people and we discover ideas and thoughts within ourselves that were previously incomprehensible and unimaginable. So what exactly does life teach us? How does it teach us these things? Is it necessary to have a certain experience to learn a valuable lesson?
These were the thoughts that ran through my mind on a regular basis as I stepped into college life. Perhaps, entering a new part of my life and meeting people from around the world had spurred these thoughts. Perhaps, the pressure of carving my own identity in this world had pushed me to delve deeper into myself. Or perhaps, it was just deliriousness of the insomnia brought about via procrastination that every college student suffers from, that spurred these abstract thoughts.
However, the service project required for my honors crossroads class provided me with the perfect opportunity to explore these ponderings. Determined to find rational (or even irrational) answers to my questions, I decided to interview individuals from various walks of life and of different ages. In order to satiate my desire to understand these thoughts, I quickly came up with five questions that I thought would address my concerns and leave enough room for broader or narrower streams of ideas. Plus, interviewing relatives, family, kids, elders and friends would provide me with a chance to either establish or strengthen the bond we share. Excited to hear ideas that differed from my own, I began the process.
I had expected to grow and learn from these interviews but I had not expected to do so at the very outset. The very first words that came out of the interviewees’ were that these questions had made them think about their lives and actions and some even described the questions as “tough”. I must admit I was mildly surprised but then I remembered a lot of these individuals led busy lives and did not have the same luxuries of free time that I possessed on a daily basis. It amazed me as to how often we get caught up in our lives and forget to think about the broader scheme of things. I realized this to be true of myself as well. Rarely would have these thoughts occurred to me during finals week or mid terms week. I began to realize that during those weeks I lost total appreciation for the present and even failed to recognize the beauty of the world around me. The desire for “success” on those important tests caused me to spend all my time pouring through books and looking over complex concepts. I made a mental note to follow one of the principles in Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat’s book, Spiritual Literacy, “Pay attention. Stay awake and totally alert. See with receptive eyes and discover a world of ceaseless wonders”.
Memories. We all have them. Why do some memories, some instances of time stick with us more than others? What makes them special? These questions were the basis for the first question I posed to the individuals I interviewed. I wished to know which memories they treasured from their lives. I was curious to understand how and what different people were affected and touched by. Interestingly, almost all of the interviewees shared memories that touched the same themes. Amongst the adults, memories of meeting their spouses for the first time, birth of their children and death of loved ones seemed to find a spot in their hearts and minds. Amongst the younger interviewees, memories of achieving certain goals, birth of siblings, moves to different cities and countries and memories of graduating high school carved a niche in their hearts. Reflecting upon these answers, I learned that the memories that we cherish in our lives are often those events that touched our hearts and stimulated our senses. It made perfect sense. After all, meeting and falling in love with a special person often involves the subconscious gifting of a part or the whole of our heart to their possession and care. On the same note, experiencing the loss of a loved one, rips away a part of our heart and therefore leaves a lasting impression on us. Therefore, if the memories that stick with us the most are those that touch our hearts, why not surround ourselves with people and vocations that listen to the passions of our hearts? Wouldn’t that make life more memorable? I certainly think so. I will strive to make as many precious memories as I can during my life by following the beats of my heart.
Success. What exactly is success? Financial security? Achieving our goals and dreams? Having a loving and supportive family? These questions formed the crux of my second question to the interviewees. Everyone speaks of being successful in life and I had my perception of success but did it differ from others? Surprisingly, all of the interviewees had the same, base definition of success. Everyone defined success as finding ways to be happy whether it be surrounding oneself with loved ones, having financial security, having a dream profession or all of the above. Apart from individualistic satisfaction, there was a general consensus that affecting society and loved ones in a positive manner was an equally important aspect of success. Listening to all these questions, I smiled internally at how all of these thoughts, words and ideas rang a bell. I wasn’t insane after all. My definition of success did not differ that much from those that were being presented to me in these interviews. I remain unsure of the role of money in my perception of success. Sure, I wish to have enough so as to sustain my basic needs but I would not want the desire for money to rule my life. Peter Maurin put it perfectly when he said, “Ideals and not deals that is what makes man human” (What Makes Man Human) I believe in living my life by chasing my dreams and following my ideals. In my opinion, if an individual does not possess dreams or passion, they essentially stop living. Therefore, success to me comes in various different forms and packages. Leaving an impact on the world is success. Being humane and compassionate in the face of adversity is success. Being in love is success. Following your dreams regardless of the societal conventions is success. Standing back up after every fall is success.
Forgiveness. Are all actions forgivable? Is it possible for an individual to redeem themselves despite pass transgressions? How do we determine right from wrong? Do we have that capacity for the seemingly infinite compassion that Mahatma Gandhi possessed? Was he erroneous in thinking and saying that all humans could follow his path? Once again, the general consensus was that all individuals had the ability or capacity for redemption. However, unlike the question dealing with success, there were degrees of acceptance, compassion and forgiveness in the responses I received. Most individuals believed that everyone deserves a second chance in life and should deservedly have that chance. Some interviewees were skeptical or hesitant about forgiving individuals that crossed a certain line in terms of morality. A few interviewees looked forward to the bright future and preferred to forgive the mistake regardless of the level of transgression and give the individual the chances they need to reform. All the interviewees agreed on the fact that the individual would have to have the will power and desire to change as well and not be concerned with the views society held of them. Once again, the answers made me think about my own beliefs especially when it comes to forgiveness. I came to the conclusion that my thoughts differed in some ways from those expressed by the interviewees. I believe that an individual always has a chance for redemption especially if they have the willingness to change. The important part is for them to try and rise from the ashes of despair, the depths of trouble and dedicate themselves to finding the right path. In my opinion, it is impossible for us, as a society or as human beings, to sit on the outside and judge the individual based on their actions and transgressions and come up with a flawless judgment of their character. Mistakes happen. They are a part of life. Just as teachers encourage students to learn from their mistakes on tests, whether those mistakes are repeated or new, we should have the capacity to forgive an individual for his transgressions, repeated or not. After all, each chance at a new life, gives him or her, an opportunity to learn from their mistakes. Likewise, Charles Dickens’ novel, A Tale of Two Cities further embodies the idea of perpetual opportunity for redemption in an individual. Although, Sydney Carton led a life of misery and apathy through most part of the novel, the surpreme selflessness of his final act proved to me that human beings have the potential to better their lives regardless of the hopelessness of the situation To be more specific, in addition to the importance of compassion and empathy, Carton's final deed spoke volumes to me about the human capacity for change. As far as society’s view of the individual is concerned, Dr. Chmiel put it perfectly when he said, “We don’t have the power to change society’s mind”. Therefore, redemption depends solely on the individual being given chances and the possibility of his personal growth due to those numerous chances. Ultimately, it is of paramount importance that we move on from our past but only after learning from our mistakes and correcting our faults by making the necessary changes in our present lives.
Before starting the interviewing process, I had answered these questions myself and the big question that connected all of these questions together lay in the definition of a human being. What exactly defines us? Every interviewee mentioned that the actions of an individual defined him. To be more precise, everyone agreed that the effects of the individual’s actions on society and their own personal growth, define a human being. These actions ranged from the display of compassion in daily life to working for the betterment of society. I found myself agreeing with all of these answers and I also believe that an essential component of being human lies in rising up every time we fall and still having the courage to walk the path of life as we wish to. After all, everyone has dreams and ambitions and it is up to us to decide when we stop chasing them. For some, they become the constant motivation and search in life. For others, they wither away, only to return, blossoming in garden of their minds.
In conclusion, the whole process of interviewing different people gave me ample opportunity to reflect upon my ideals and thoughts. Apart from having a variety of answers to my questions, I also picked up a few valuable lessons along the way. I discovered the importance of listening or as Ralph Nader would put it, I had discovered “the tradition of listening”. I learned that people have a lot to say and if we contain our voices for a while, we can learn a lot from others. The interviews also taught me to look beyond my initial impressions of individuals as I received answers of unexpected depth and insight from people I would never have imagined possible. In addition to these lessons, I also found immense pleasure in carrying out these interviews in a face to face manner. In our increasingly technological world, texting, email and other technological advancements in communication have caused us to lose out on the connecting factor of and we are drifting towards becoming individual pockets of isolation within a loosely joined society. Lastly, I had set out trying to understand the journey of life and I believe the answers I received from the interviews and my own thoughts are beautifully summarized by this quote from one of my favorite Indian movies, “Life is short but if you live it with all your heart, it is more than enough. So go on and break the rules, forgive quickly, love truly and never regret anything that made you smile”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Please leave your comments, if any below
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